OVERCOMING FEAR, “The enemy is fear. We think it is hate; but, it is fear.” Mahatma Gandhi
“The enemy is fear. We think it is hate; but, it is fear.”
Mahatma Gandhi
There are basically two major motivators in our lives, fear
and love. The problem is that fear is the one that we predominantly use to
dictate what decisions and what direction we are going to take in our lives.
When you come to a place in your life where you feel something is holding you
back, or when you hesitate in making a decision or when you make choices based
on not what you want but what others believe you should do you are working from
a place of fear. By acknowledging your fear and by overcoming it you can get to
a place where you make decisions from self or from a place of love,
rationality, honesty, belief and truth.
Have you ever wanted to just get up and quit your job? Are
you ever so fed up with trying to keep your business going that you just want
to pack it in? Do you ever feel like giving up? Have you ever pursued a career,
an education or a job because of the salary rather than a burning passion? My
guess is that you did that because you are afraid of living in a bus by the
river. What I mean by that is that we all have insecurities that can get in the
way of what truly matters to us. From the time we are very young we are told to
grow up and get a job that pays well especially if we are men. Why don´t
parents tell us to grow up and find a job doing whatever it is that you love
the most like playing video games, wilderness camping or traveling? All of
these things can be turned into jobs so what´s wrong with them? I´ll tell you
what the problem is, they are the type of jobs that other people have. The kind
of people that are the exception rather than the rule, they are not safe, we
don´t have proof that they will work for us or we may not know anyone
personally that has them as a career but the world is changing. There are so
many more ways to make money these days than the traditional careers of the
past.
Today it is becoming socially acceptable to dream and become
whoever you want to be. Our children will benefit from that type of open
thinking but what about us? I think that if we let go of the fear that we need
to conform and the thought that we need to do what expected of us we can
actually begin to live life from a place of love and not from a place of fear.
I think that if we just accept that everyone of us deserves to be happy doing
what makes us feel alive then we can create a life full of balance and self
acceptance. Money is not the problem or the big motivator; it is us and our
fear of what others think, whether we will fail or succeed and how we will look
to others that holds us back. Face it if you would have known that you would
have the same amount of money no matter what career you chose would you be
doing the same thing as you are doing now? If you knew that no one would ever
be mad, sad or irritated at anything you did, said or chose would you be the same
person? Would you have the same life? I think there were a lot of OH no
probably not´s out there. Interesting. Below are 5 tips and tricks to
conquering your fear so you can begin to live your life for you.
If you want to conquer fear, don't sit home and think about
it. Go out and get busy.
Dale Carnegie
Number ONE; Stop thinking, trust me you have thought about
it enough!
You can think about how horrible it will be, how terrifying
it will feel, how humiliating it will be if you fail, how overwhelming it will
be if you don’t, how embarrassing it will be if you make a fool of yourself and
how angry everyone will be if you do what you want until you are blue in the
face. When you are done, those thoughts will still be there. What you need to
do is change those thoughts. You do that first by remembering back when you
felt the same way about something, and when you finally broke down and did it,
was it as bad as you thought? Was it may be pretty easy or satisfying instead?
You may have even felt a strong sense of accomplishment for persevering. You
have done whatever it was that you wanted to do before and you can do it again.
In order to succeed, your desire for success should be
greater than your fear of failure.
Bill Cosby
Number TWO; You have to figure out what you really want, so
get your head out of the sand.
One of the big problems with fear is that it clouds our
minds as to what we really want. It gives us all kinds of reasons and excuses
about why we shouldn´t go for what we want, or change jobs, or break up
relationships. It is a master manipulator, that’s why it is up to you to ask
yourself what is my real motivation here, what would I really want if there
were no negative side effects, what would I do if I knew I would succeed or
what would I do if I knew it would be OK. Until you explore what you really
want you will continue to wallow in fear without any idea about what you are
really feeling.
Action is a great restorer and builder of confidence.
Inaction is not only the result, but the cause, of fear. Perhaps the action you
take will be successful, perhaps different action or adjustments will have to
follow. But any action is better than no action at all.
Norman Vincent Peale
Number THREE; If you don´t get off your but it is not going
to happen. That is a fact.
No single act is more powerful than action. There is no way
to know how any one thing will turn out but that is the beauty of it. If we
could predict every action that we take then life would be pretty boring.
Sometimes we need a little bit of disappointment, hardship and pain in order to
get to a better place. The only way to actually move forward is to take action.
Often just taking action is the hardest part because you have so much built up
anxiety and fear surrounding it. Go ahead and take the first step and then the
next. You may be pleasantly surprised at what happens as a result.
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has
no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
Jim Morrison
Number FOUR; It´s not going to be as bad as you think and if
it is so what? You will get over it.
What was the greatest fear in your life that you conquered?
Was it being unemployed and living in a bus by the river? Was it leaving your
relationship and being alone? Was it disciplining your kids and having them
hate you ( teenagers). Was it starting a business, confronting someone that
wronged you, following your dream, being successful? What about showing your
vulnerabilities to others or asking for help? Think about what your greatest
fear is or was. What is the worst thing that could or did happen. Allow
yourself to go there, be there, feel it and live it. Once you actually allow
yourself to be in the reality of it you take away the power it has over you
especially when you put it in perspective. All through history people have been
living in fear and then making a choice to overpower it so that they can create
a new reality for their lives. Try confronting your fear to see if it is really
any worse than living in constant fear and uncertainty.
The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things
we desire not things we fear.
Brian Tracy
Number FIVE; what are you thinking about? What you don´t
want or how to get what you do want?
What you think about you manifest. Scary thought isn´t it?
Especially if you are constantly thinking about what you fear will happen if
you pursue your dreams and aspirations. Why not think about what you want as if
you already have it irrespective of your fears or insecurities. Feels good
doesn't it. It only takes a conscious choice to change the way you think about
things. Make fear a dirty word and replace it with accomplishment,
perseverance, confidence and determination.
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