Saturday, 7 September 2013

OVERCOMING FEAR, “The enemy is fear. We think it is hate; but, it is fear.” Mahatma Gandhi



                                                            
“The enemy is fear. We think it is hate; but, it is fear.”
Mahatma Gandhi

There are basically two major motivators in our lives, fear and love. The problem is that fear is the one that we predominantly use to dictate what decisions and what direction we are going to take in our lives. When you come to a place in your life where you feel something is holding you back, or when you hesitate in making a decision or when you make choices based on not what you want but what others believe you should do you are working from a place of fear. By acknowledging your fear and by overcoming it you can get to a place where you make decisions from self or from a place of love, rationality, honesty, belief and truth.

Have you ever wanted to just get up and quit your job? Are you ever so fed up with trying to keep your business going that you just want to pack it in? Do you ever feel like giving up? Have you ever pursued a career, an education or a job because of the salary rather than a burning passion? My guess is that you did that because you are afraid of living in a bus by the river. What I mean by that is that we all have insecurities that can get in the way of what truly matters to us. From the time we are very young we are told to grow up and get a job that pays well especially if we are men. Why don´t parents tell us to grow up and find a job doing whatever it is that you love the most like playing video games, wilderness camping or traveling? All of these things can be turned into jobs so what´s wrong with them? I´ll tell you what the problem is, they are the type of jobs that other people have. The kind of people that are the exception rather than the rule, they are not safe, we don´t have proof that they will work for us or we may not know anyone personally that has them as a career but the world is changing. There are so many more ways to make money these days than the traditional careers of the past.

Today it is becoming socially acceptable to dream and become whoever you want to be. Our children will benefit from that type of open thinking but what about us? I think that if we let go of the fear that we need to conform and the thought that we need to do what expected of us we can actually begin to live life from a place of love and not from a place of fear. I think that if we just accept that everyone of us deserves to be happy doing what makes us feel alive then we can create a life full of balance and self acceptance. Money is not the problem or the big motivator; it is us and our fear of what others think, whether we will fail or succeed and how we will look to others that holds us back. Face it if you would have known that you would have the same amount of money no matter what career you chose would you be doing the same thing as you are doing now? If you knew that no one would ever be mad, sad or irritated at anything you did, said or chose would you be the same person? Would you have the same life? I think there were a lot of OH no probably not´s out there. Interesting. Below are 5 tips and tricks to conquering your fear so you can begin to live your life for you.

If you want to conquer fear, don't sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.
Dale Carnegie

Number ONE; Stop thinking, trust me you have thought about it enough!

You can think about how horrible it will be, how terrifying it will feel, how humiliating it will be if you fail, how overwhelming it will be if you don’t, how embarrassing it will be if you make a fool of yourself and how angry everyone will be if you do what you want until you are blue in the face. When you are done, those thoughts will still be there. What you need to do is change those thoughts. You do that first by remembering back when you felt the same way about something, and when you finally broke down and did it, was it as bad as you thought? Was it may be pretty easy or satisfying instead? You may have even felt a strong sense of accomplishment for persevering. You have done whatever it was that you wanted to do before and you can do it again.

In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.
Bill Cosby

Number TWO; You have to figure out what you really want, so get your head out of the sand.

One of the big problems with fear is that it clouds our minds as to what we really want. It gives us all kinds of reasons and excuses about why we shouldn´t go for what we want, or change jobs, or break up relationships. It is a master manipulator, that’s why it is up to you to ask yourself what is my real motivation here, what would I really want if there were no negative side effects, what would I do if I knew I would succeed or what would I do if I knew it would be OK. Until you explore what you really want you will continue to wallow in fear without any idea about what you are really feeling.

Action is a great restorer and builder of confidence. Inaction is not only the result, but the cause, of fear. Perhaps the action you take will be successful, perhaps different action or adjustments will have to follow. But any action is better than no action at all.
Norman Vincent Peale

Number THREE; If you don´t get off your but it is not going to happen. That is a fact.

No single act is more powerful than action. There is no way to know how any one thing will turn out but that is the beauty of it. If we could predict every action that we take then life would be pretty boring. Sometimes we need a little bit of disappointment, hardship and pain in order to get to a better place. The only way to actually move forward is to take action. Often just taking action is the hardest part because you have so much built up anxiety and fear surrounding it. Go ahead and take the first step and then the next. You may be pleasantly surprised at what happens as a result.

Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
Jim Morrison

Number FOUR; It´s not going to be as bad as you think and if it is so what? You will get over it.

What was the greatest fear in your life that you conquered? Was it being unemployed and living in a bus by the river? Was it leaving your relationship and being alone? Was it disciplining your kids and having them hate you ( teenagers). Was it starting a business, confronting someone that wronged you, following your dream, being successful? What about showing your vulnerabilities to others or asking for help? Think about what your greatest fear is or was. What is the worst thing that could or did happen. Allow yourself to go there, be there, feel it and live it. Once you actually allow yourself to be in the reality of it you take away the power it has over you especially when you put it in perspective. All through history people have been living in fear and then making a choice to overpower it so that they can create a new reality for their lives. Try confronting your fear to see if it is really any worse than living in constant fear and uncertainty.

The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire not things we fear.
Brian Tracy

Number FIVE; what are you thinking about? What you don´t want or how to get what you do want?

What you think about you manifest. Scary thought isn´t it? Especially if you are constantly thinking about what you fear will happen if you pursue your dreams and aspirations. Why not think about what you want as if you already have it irrespective of your fears or insecurities. Feels good doesn't it. It only takes a conscious choice to change the way you think about things. Make fear a dirty word and replace it with accomplishment, perseverance, confidence and determination.

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